It’s easy to use positive language when praising toddlers
for milestones or expressing love, but what about those moments when you need
to say “No!” or “Don’t do that!” in a constructive way?
Here are some tips to help you stay positive in the heat of the moment while
maintaining consistency.
If you’ve ever tried telling a toddler “No” you may know firsthand
it’s a toss up whether or not they’ll heed your advice. There’s a reason for
this. “No” is a more complex concept than many realize. Even though toddlers
use the word “no,” they
may not understand it the way you expect them to.
When you think about it, “no” and “don’t” aren’t concrete
directives. Adults and older children are able to take the word “no” as a
command and do the opposite, but toddlers are not wired that way yet. Intrinsic
to their nature, toddlers are little explorers constantly becoming more and
more independent. They are wired to “do” as opposed to “not do.”
Remember that toddlers are
constantly learning and developing, so it’s important to be patient and understanding
as they navigate the world of language. Toddlers don’t process words as quickly
as adults do. Their budding language skills are forming, so it
takes a few seconds or more for them to wrap their minds around what you just
said. With that in mind, giving a young toddler a negative command like
“stop it” isn’t really setting them up for success.
Giving toddlers concrete directives can be a great way to
help them understand what you want from them. Here are a few more examples of how
you can give toddlers a solid direction to better communicate them:
Instead of saying…
“Don’t play rough,” you can say “Use kind
words and gentle hands.”
“Stop running,” you can say “Walk slowly and
stay safe.”
“Don’t make a mess,” you can say “Put your
toys away when you’re done playing with them.”
“Don’t touch that,” you can say “Keep your arms by your
sides.”
“No, don’t destroy the train set your sister just put
together,” you can say “Let’s work together to take care of each other’s toys.”
Remember to keep your language simple and clear, and to use
positive language whenever possible. By giving your child specific instructions
and positive reinforcement, you can help them make the right choice in a safe
and supportive environment.
By giving them a positive action to take, they are more
likely to follow your instruction. Additionally, toddlers respond well to
praise and positive reinforcement. When they do something you want them to do,
make sure to give them plenty of praise and encouragement. This will help them
feel good about themselves and encourage them to continue behaving in positive
ways. It’s also important to remember that toddlers are constantly learning and
growing, so try to be patient and understanding as they explore the world
around them.
